you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
