I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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