week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
