I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
