Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
