shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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