Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
