He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
