Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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