i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
