just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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