Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
