i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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