Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
