I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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