they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
