it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
