We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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