Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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