apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
