and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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