ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

  Fav 28 8298 1279

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

  Fav 60 1018 5523

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days

  Fav 35 6814 779

  share tweet
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere

  Fav 13 5696 1066

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

  Fav 40 1935 14478

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.

  Fav 8 4966 1331

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.

  Fav 7 4284 1314

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night

  Fav 18 3099 1004

  share tweet
  

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I feel like death gave me a hand job

  Fav 12 834 1855

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them

  Fav 1 1608 751

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"

  Fav 8 1904 801

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (618): View more from Illinois

  I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job

  Fav 6 599 922

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"

  Fav 1 704 531

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.

  Fav 0 40 14

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home

  Fav 0 44 21

  share tweet
  

Randomize