I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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