i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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