I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
