ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
