you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So much Jack, so little girl.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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