Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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