so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
