Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
