NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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