I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Houston, we have a squirter
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
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