I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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