I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
