so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
