Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i already hear my dad disowning me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
