Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize
