I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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