I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
