I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
A bitchslap is in order.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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