He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
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My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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