so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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