Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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