i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
