ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my shit smells like andre
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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