you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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