All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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