I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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