dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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