Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it's like iHOP with fire
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
