Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
