if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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