12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
